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(Prologue: I’ve got first-hand experience that a real understanding of the laws of karma can substantially change our lives for the better. I created this weblog to share information and personal experience with others. May it be of benefit!)

I don’t know why I can’t listen to the whole book-on-tape from beginning to end. Jeffrey Archer is one of my favourite authors. And his book A Prisoner of Birth — given my interest in the nature of karma and “mistaken identity” — is certainly right up my alley. But I can’t get beyond the first CD. I’m a prisoner of my habitual pattern of fear.

Seems I’ve downloaded a habitual pattern that is so imprinted on my consciousness that, even knowing the ending, my fear prevented my moving beyond the beginning and the end! I am frightened of the details of the plot.

The beginning of the story — an innocent person convicted of a serious crime he didn’t committ — triggers my own anger, fear and a sense of  powerlessness. I become frightened for the main character. So frightened that I cannot listen to the rest of the CDs in order to learn the whole story.

So I go to the last CD to hear the end of the story. Am reassured by the “happy ending.” But I find I still cannot listen to the rest of the CDs.  So I get a hard copy of the book. I reason that maybe if I play the disks and simultaneously read-along, I’ll be able to cut through the fear and get the “meat” of the story.

Didn’t work. Can’t get beyond my fear. I want to ignore the details of the story, the plot, in other words, I try to ignore the “middle” part – between the beginning and the end – of the story. But I’m not prepared to give up. I listen to the CDs in reverse order: number 13 (the end) first, then number 12 and so on. But I give up on that. I still do not know all the details of the story.

What’s going on here? All I know is that the story triggers a very solid pattern of mine, a pattern I seem unable to cut through. Contact with this story is downloading my habitual fear.

The only thing I understand is that my ego has solidified itself vis-a-vis the story. Ego has made a sharp distinction between self and other: Ttere’s me. And there’s the characters in the story. I can’t seem to bridge the gap, the duality, I’ve created.

Let’s deconstruct this pattern of fear.

1. Read the rest of this entry »

(Prologue: I’ve got first-hand experience that a real understanding of the laws of karma can substantially change our lives for the better. I created this weblog to share information and personal experience with others. May it be of benefit!)

True freedom, true liberation, is going to come from egolessness, selflessness. <Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche: Shambhala Day Address, 2004; paragraph 23>

In the post on September 06′09, part 1 in a series of 3, we raised the question of whether there is really such a thing as “free will.”

In part 2 we pointed out that as long as ego is our default position, we only have relative freedom i.e. the freedom to choose how to respond to the consequences of our past actions that have now ripened. We cannot change the consequences. In part 2 we examined a few of the 12 factors that create and maintain our karma, and where we could cut the links of the chains that bind us.

But that is just dealing with what we “see,” as it were, above ground.

How about the roots?

In this post, part 3 of 3, we will deal with the root of why were are not really free — Ignorance. That’s the most crucial factor of all. Ignorance here doesn’t refer to some mistake that we made, like a a case of “mistaken identity” where we think that ego, our manufactured self, is who we really are. For sure, that is a problem. But not the most fundamental one.

To repeat, our lack of ultimate freedom goes back to the ignorance described in the first factor.

…why does conditioning [and our karma] arise in the first place? How did the whole process ever start? The Buddha traced the root cause back to ignorance, the mind’s ignorance of its own awakened nature—the final and original link in the chain. This is the farthest back we can go within the circle of samsara [the world of confusion based on ignorance; ego’s creation]; this is where everything begins. …Ignorance means ignoring the truth of reality, shutting one’s eyes to the awakened state. Although the light of reality is ever-present, ignorance chooses to remain blind. The nature of this blindness is to believe in the existence of a separate, independent self. (source: Francesa Freemantle: Luminous Emptiness, publ. Shambhala 2003, page 28)

“…The nature of this blindness is to believe in the existence in a separate, independent self.” I was wondering what example I could use from daily life to underscore this idea when I came across a wonderful story:

…on my high chair at the dining room table, I would stare at a candle flame, seeing that it was always changing. I’d stare right into the centre of it, and even though it always had a yellow color, it was always vibrating ever so slightly. There wasn’t anything constant there that you could call the flame, as if it actually existed for some time. These childhood perceptions…led me to realize that nothing remains. The stuff of ourselves is like the flame …. What existed a few moments ago is not somehow sitting on top of the present.” (source: Jeffrey Hopkins: A Truthful Heart)

Once we’re caught up in the deluded belief in some permanent, independent self and some corresponding permanent, independent other, then “the full catastrophe,” as alluded to by Anthony Quinn in the movie Zorba the Greek (1964), follows.

So we have to replace ignorance with knowledge in order to be free. Otherwise, the only “freedom” we have is to choose now this poison, now that poison, or chose to follow this disturbing thought rather than that one!

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(Prologue: I’ve got first-hand experience that a real understanding of the laws of karma can substantially change our lives for the better. I created this weblog to share information and personal experience with others. May it be of benefit!)

In the post on September 06’09 we raised the question of whether there is such a thing as “free will.”

Generally speaking, as long as we are in the grip of an almost irresistible, spinning undertow as described by the 12 factors\links, there is no ultimate freedom.

Specifically speaking, there is no freedom without  understanding the concept and reality of dependence and  interdependence i.e. this leads to this leads to this and so on. On and on. It’s like links in a chain. Each link produces (makes
possible) the next link.

Why? Because we are just following the habitual patterns that have been imprinted on our minds from previous actions. Continually acting on these patterns both maintains our current karma and creates further karma. To repeat, no ultimate freedom to be found here.

Only when we go completely beyond karma (cause and effect) can we be truly, ultimately, free. That takes time. Lots of time. But we live in the relative, conventional world.

So what do we do in the meantime? That is what Part 2 of this series about free will is about. Read the rest of this entry »

(Prologue: I’ve got first-hand experience that a real understanding of the laws of karma can substantially change our lives for the better. I created this weblog to share information and personal experience with others. May it be of benefit!)

I wish I knew how it would feel to be free.
I wish I could break all the chains holding me.
I wish I could say all the things that I should say.
Say them loud, say them clear
For the whole damn world to hear.
by Nina Simone.

As long as we are in the grip of the consequences of the karma that we have produced in the past, the only freedom we have is how we choose to relate to these consequences. We cannot change the consequences at this point. the seeds from past volitional actions have ripened.

The question of Free Will has occupied an important place in Western thought and philosophy. …But…If the whole of existence is relative, conditioned and interdependent, how can will alone be free? Will, or anything for that matter, …. is within the law of cause and effect. (Rahula, Walpola: What the Buddha Taught, 1974 ed; page 54)

While caught in a life based on what I call “mistaken identity” (i.e. ego), the most we can attain is relative freedom. Our next move is up to us.

ChogyamTrungpa: Karma is like a game of chess. Your particular position at any point is determined by where you were, what your moves were; but after that point, it is up to you.

Student: Then is there a continuation of karma or the effects of karma?

Chogyam Trungpa: It’s up to you.

<source: Karma and the Twelve Nidanas: A Sourcebook for The Shambhala School of Buddhist Studies, page 13>

We think we have control over our lives. But in terms of karma (actions) that we have already created, we have no choice about the consequences — except the attitude that we manifest when that karma ripens in our future.

Freedom is generally thought of as the ability to achieve goals and satisfy desires. but what are the sources of these goals and desires? If they arise from ignorance, habitual patterns, and negative emotions — psychologically destructive elements that actually enslave us — is the freedom to puruse them true freedom or just a myth? <source: Chogyam Trungpa: Myth of  Freedom and the Way of  Meditation; publ. Shambhala Publications, 1988> 

When is free will really free? Ultimately only when we go beyond creating karma (cause and effect) can we be truly free. That would mean that we have a thorough understanding  that there is no independent or permanent self, and therefore no permanent, independent “other.”We and others exist only as a product (outcome) of the coming together of certain causes and conditions in our lives.

But the point we want to stress is that in the conventional (relative) world in which we live

……we are creating future actions. We can change the course. We are not stuck in our karma. (Class Four, page 86 of the Sutrayana Transcripts

…..to be continued in Part 2 on Sep 13’09

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(Prologue: I’ve got first-hand experience that a real understanding of the laws of karma can substantially change our lives for the better. I created this weblog to share information and personal experience with others. May it be of benefit!)

<Please note: the word “thoughts” in this post include emotions.>

There are many books with titles similar to “change-your-mind-and-you’ll-change-your-life.“ The theme of these books is, essentially, that mind is the pre-eminent cause for how we experience life. Why? Because mind produces thoughts. And thoughts are all-powerful.

Your experiences will definitely change as you change the way you think. <source: Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s book Transforming Problems Into Happiness.>

But what if we find that — for whatever reason — we cannot “change” our minds? We feel too stuck sometimes. Pema Chodron calls this situation shenpa. We can tell ourselves to “stop thinking this negative or destructive thought.” But that just emphasizes the thought even more. It’s like saying “Don’t think of an elephant.”

So we think of an elephant.

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Readers do not have to believe in reincarnation to benefit from this post or weblog. We only have to agree that present actions have effects in the future. What we call our past history was once the future that was caused by previous “present” actions.

Prologue: We are told that karma is carried from one lifetime to another and from one situation to another in this present lifetime. It’s much like passing the torch in a relay race. But what does karma actually look like “on the ground” in our daily lives? Put another way, what are the consequences of our past volitional actions when certain causes and conditions meet and certain seeds ripen in the present?

Based on my weblog page called Actual face of karma, what would the life of someone who is the present (fictional) Cleopatra actually look like? In other words, what is the fruition of the karma of this historical figure in terms of money, career, sex, family, friendships etc. To try to answer this question, I use personal and private diary entries like the one below.

*  *  *  *  *  *

I, Rainbow Desert Flower, enter this into my private diary on the 25th day of the month of November in the year 2004 CE. May it benefit all those who are trying to understand their karmic footprint.

June 21’01 – I notice a sore on present-day incarnation of Marc Antony’s lower left leg. Ask him how long he’s had it. Two years, he says. I try to hide my shock. That’s a long time for a sore not to heal. I ask him to go to the doctor, something he doesn’t like to do. Doctor sends him to oncologist who digs out the cancer from “Marc Antony’s”  leg.

February, 2002 – “Marc Antony” misses follow-up appointment with the doctor. Doesn’t book new one.

November 27, 2001 – I  am very fussy re locking door tonight. Keep checking it before I go to bed.

November 28, 2001 – Have premonition of “Marc Antony’s” death in what I call the “Shroud Dream.”

Dream: I hear someone in the hall outside my bedroom. A long piece of wood materializes beside my bed that I can use to protect myself. A figure shrouded in white from head to foot enters my room and walks over to “Marc Antony’s” side of the bed near the window. I try to scream or shout in fear – feel constricted.

May 06, 2002:  “Marc Antony” leaves his jewellery — the gold ring I gave him on September 5, 2001 and the Cleopatra medallion on a silver chain that I gave him in July, 2001 — when he leaves my house to go to his office. I speak to him later in the day — he does not realize that he is not wearing his jewellery. A reflection of his feelings.

July 15, 2002: “Marc Antony” writes me a letter to say that he is in crisis and has gone into isolation. I leave him a voice-mail message to say that this is the kind of situation where you call on your friends to help.  I am taken back to September 02, 31 BC — Marc Antony is so severely depressed after losing the battle of Actium that he leaves Cleopatra’s palace to live in isolation on the beach of Alexandria.

July 28, 2002: “Marc Antony” telephones to tell me that his cancer has reoccurred. Has three months to live. Says that on July 7th he could not swallow food at supper.  Went to the hospital emergency department. Waits for nine hours. Diagnosis: cancer of the oesophagus from smoking. I realize that his not taking me with him to the hospital or communicating with me until July 28th reflects his lack of interest and love in our relationship in this lifetime.

November 24’04 – Walk into store that sells old records. Felt the presence of  “Marc Antony” on my left shoulder while looking at old George Carlin albums.  “Antony” likes Carlin. Haven’t spoken to “Antony” since July, 2002 when he told me that the cancer had travelled up from his leg to his throat.

November 25’04 – 06h30 – don’t usually check my e-mail before going to work, but I did today. E-mail from “Marc Antony’s” son re death of “Antony.”

This death is a kind of suicide. In other words, instead of falling on his sword as Marc Antony did, in this lifetime he traded one killer (sword) for another (smoking), and died at age 61 of cancer of the oesophagus on November 22, 2004. I mourned not only his death, but our lifetime together. From having once been his “queen,” I was firmly relegated to second place in this lifetime. From the greatest lovers in history to….a “recreational relationship.”

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Readers do not have to believe in reincarnation to benefit from this post or weblog. We only have to agree that present actions have effects in the future. What we call our past history was once the future that was caused by previous “present” actions.

Prologue: We understand intellectually, conceptually, that karma is carried from one lifetime to another and from one situation to another in this present lifetime, much like a torch is passed from team membert to team member in a relay race. But how is that karma actually experienced “on the ground” in future lifetimes? Put another way, what happens when certain causes and conditions meet and certain karmic seeds ripen?

Based on my weblog page called Actual face of karma, what would the life of someone who is the present (fictional) incarnation of Queen Tiye (mother of Akhenaten), Queen of Sparta (aka Helen of Troy), Queen Jezebel, Cleopatra, St. Teresa of Avila and Sigmund Freud actually look like? In other words, what is the fruition of the karma of this Portrait Gallery of six historical figures in areas like money, sex, friendships, career, family etc.? To try to answer this question, I use diary entries like the one below.

*  *  *  *  *  *

It’s a very hot summer evening in July 2001. My life partner and I are sitting on my back porch chatting. He is bitter about the role sex has played in his life. He got drawn into a marriage that was deeply unhappy. I tell him that I’ve come to the conclusion that sexual attraction seems to be some sort of a cosmic joke. But not in any cynical sense. Just as part of a “cosmic plan” for human beings. After all, Earth is the planet of desire. And it’s desire that propels us into relationships. And we need relationships in order to evolve, to “wake up.” It’s hard work. Most of us wouldn’t do the work if we weren’t seduced into it. This is where attraction generally and sex specifically comes into the picture.

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(Prologue: I’ve got first-hand experience that a real understanding of the laws of karma can substantially change our lives for the better. I created this weblog to share information and personal experience with others. May it be of benefit!)

…There is always something missing. If you examine your mind in everyday life, you can see that something is missing all the time  No matter how much you try to enjoy different places—living in a city or on a mountain, going to the beach or to a beautiful park; no matter how much you try to enjoy food, clothing, anything that can be obtained on this earth, there is always something missing in your heart. No matter how many friends you have or how long you enjoy their company, there is always something missing. All the time there is something missing in your heart. You are never really happy.

Even when there is excitement in your life, if you carefully examine the nature of your mind, you will find that there is still something missing. You are not completely happy. Watch your mind closely; examine it well: “Is this happiness complete or not?” It is not complete. There is still something missing. (source: Transforming Problems Into Happiness)

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(Prologue: I’ve got first-hand experience that a real understanding of the laws of karma can substantially change our lives for the better. I created this weblog to share information and personal experience with others. May it be of benefit!)

uccess (in conventional society) = inner happiness?

Fools don’t know the source of happiness. Because they are mystified as to how happiness comes about, they’re always just chasing after happiness with the idea that it depends on other people or things like food and clothing. A wise individual knows the source of happiness: the mind. Thus a wise person knows that the mind needs to be developed. <source: Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche: The Legacy of Shambhala>

Many of us have been trained to think that financial success and high social and occupational standing leads to happiness. Success (material) = happiness. We are dismayed to discover that it doesn’t.

I think it’s the other way around: happiness = success. If you are happy, then you are living a successful life.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way. ~~ Buddha

Many of us have been trained to think that happiness is “candy floss.” Not realistic.I believe that it is our “birthright.”

So what does lead to happiness?

We hear that it has to come from inside ourselves, not from the outside, not from being led around by the nose by our society’s definition of “success.”

But, again, what does this mean, exactly?

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(Prologue: I’ve got first-hand experience that a real understanding of the laws of karma can substantially change our lives for the better. I created this weblog to share information and personal experience with others. May it be of benefit!)

For me, meditation practice is like coming home.

We’re on overload today. Too much information. Coming from too many directions. Look here! No, look over there! We feel angry. Fearful. Stressed out.

We need some first aid for the mind if we are going to engage life in a clear, knowing, awake way; if we are going to change our own karmic stream. There’s an important ripple effect of which we must now become aware — by changing our own karma, we help to change the world’s karma. This makes life more uplifted for everyone. And it is here that the role of meditation practice is so vital.

There are so many views today about what meditation is and what its purpose is. For example:

• The “self-help,” “self-improvement” genre: e.g. one blog post urged “Be better than yourself.” Or variations like “Be a better person.” (This genre is based on a poverty mentality about ourselves);
• Some say “Go beyond yourself;”
• Scientists who study meditation have outlined many health benefits; and
• Some think of meditation as a day at the beach.

I like to think of meditation as an exercise in focusing. We focus all day long! But on what are we focusing? It’s usually on constant stream of negativity. On our own story line.

To repeat, meditation is a form of focusing. But now we are gently focusing on our breath, and simply noticing the thoughts that arise. And then returning to gently focus on our breath. We can read about mind in myriad books and articles. But there’s only one way to actually get in touch with our own mind: through an exercise that shifts our focus. I call that shift “meditation practice.” It’s the shift that undercuts our habitual patterns, which cuts through our karmic stream.

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