(Prologue: I’ve got first-hand experience that a real understanding of the laws of karma can substantially change our lives for the better. I created this weblog to share information and personal experience with others. May it be beneficial!)

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It is Sunday, February 03, 2013. The first-year anniversary of a dream of February 03, 2012 that was so dramatic that it triggered a year-long crisis. On the outer level, the dream appears erotic. Had it not appeared erotic, I believe that it would not have had the intense impact that it was to have on my life.(For further discussion on this topic please see webpost Is Sexual Attraction a Cosmic Joke?)

February 03, 2012 – I and a man called Alex are lying on a king-size bed together. We are in the middle of it. Fully clothed. I am propped up on my left arm facing Alex who is lying flat on his back. Our strong karmic connection with and affection for each other is obvious. Two other couples lie at each end of the bed, again fully clothed. I do not know who they are. They are lying still. But their affection for each other is obvious. He asks me “Why aren’t we together?” I reply “because I would never leave you.” He whispers “Oh God.”  I lean down and kiss him. He doesn’t move. He says nothing. Then I put my head on his chest and simultaneously, I experience a feeling of sadness.

In future posts I will talk about “living dangerously” in the sense that I went beyond my own ego on several occasions and experienced feelings to which I was unaccustomed, and an itsby, bitsy, teeny, weeny, taste of  “a perspective of freshness and innocence that provides practitioners a means of discovering delight in the challenges of daily existence.” Very frightening. Very joyful.

In this post I will describe the “anniversary dream” that I had today in the early morning of February 03, 2013, one year after the original dream described above that ushered in my year of living dangerously. (The numbers in brackets relate to the Notes on the Dream that follow the outline of the dream itself.)

Anniversary Dream: I am standing in front of a (1) fireplace mantel. (2) The room is in semi-darkness. There are many objects on the mantel. The objects are unusual, innovative, not things you can buy in a store.

(3) The one directly in front of me is a small, wooden object. I study it. What is it for? I think that I could use it as a (4) cardholder to hold the 5” x 3” cards that I have on my kitchen shrine, each one inscribed with one of Atisha’s slogans.

On my right is an object that stood out by its transcendent beauty: a collection of small, perfectly round (5) crystal objects like the marbles that children play with. They are stacked side-by-side and one atop the other such that the whole ensemble is in the shape of a circle. (6) Even though the room is in semi darkness, this crystal object shines on its own.

(7) There is some sense that I have to make a choice between the cardholder and the multi-layered crystal ball. I am leaning towards the cardholder in front of me, but keep glancing at the crystal object on my right. I do not actually make a choice.

Notes on the Dream:

Again, this is the one-year anniversary of the dream described at the beginning of the post  that I had on February 03, 2012 that triggered an identity crisis. This “anniversary” dream seems to be sending me the message that there are many gifts that have come out of my identity crisis.

1. fireplace = warmth
2. The room is in semi-darkness” = the world of confusion (samsara); ego-driven world
3. “the one directly in front of me” = what I have to do\concern myself with right now
4. cardholder for  Atishas’ slogans (e.g. “Contemplate the great kindness of everyone.”) = Mahayana path = compassion; warmth; going beyond the “Me” plan
   
5. Crystal object = Vajrayana path
   • Ultimate plane = clear mind; primordial wisdom and luminosity; ultimate basic goodness; open space;
     
   • Relative (conventional, mundane, everyday world) plane = marbles; the many marbles that created the object = mind has a lot of facets or dimensions or qualities.
6. “Even though the room is in semi darkness, this crystal object shines on its own” = primordial wisdom, not tainted by any experience we may have in the everyday world;
7. “There is some sense that I have to make a choice.” = all the gifts are lovely. I don’t want to have to choose.
8. “I am leaning towards the cardholder” = I am afraid of open (egoless) space. I would rather fill it up with objects and projects and things to do.

We ignore the open, fluid, and intelligent quality of space. <Chogyam Trungpa, Rinpoche>

Conclusion: The irony is that I really don’t have to make a choice between the cardholder and the crystal ball. Why? Because we are all “gifted” with primordial wisdom! And out of that ultimate, inherent wisdom my path — as symbolized by the “cardholder,”  a path that, as the dream points out, is right in front of me, namely, compassion and warmth and basic goodness on the relative plane — arises.

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