(Prologue: I’ve got first-hand experience that a real understanding of the laws of karma can substantially change our lives for the better. I created this weblog to share information and personal experience with others. May it be of benefit!)

In high school back in the late 1950’s, a pupil used the word “need” when answering our teacher’s question.

I’ll never forget the teacher’s answer: “What do you need it for?”

We were stumped! I mean, we all use the word “need” and expect that everyone knows what we mean.

It’s “common sense,” isn’t it?

Apparently not.

In my last webpost (please click here for that post) I said

I must confess that there is one area where I do not have a lot of experience: romance. A long time ago, I had decided that it was not part of my karmic path in this lifetime. I was dismissive of the idea that one “needs” a partner.

I had to question that view after a clear and vivid dream— a dream that triggered a personal crisis.

Let me clarify: I simply have become less dismissive of the idea that one “needs” a partner. Whether we actually need a partner is the subject of this webpost.

Two points here:

• I don’t believe that we “need” much. I think that most “needs” are manufactured by our culture; and
• The notion of romance is also a manufactured one — propped up by a huge music industry of “love songs;” movies; massive fashion industry, online dating services, books, etc. etc. In short our whole culture not only supports this notion, but promotes it. However, there is no such phrase as “falling in love” in the Tibetan language.
  

[For a fabulous presentation of this subject please watch this video by Dzongsar Khenyste Rinpoche on Love and Relationship, director of the award-winning movie The Cup. It takes a few minutes for Rinpoche’s presentation to begin. But it’s well worth the wait. At some points, it was a laugh every five seconds.]

I believe that we are primordially, inherently complete and whole in ourselves. We are not “half a person” waiting for someone to “complete” us.

But we are relational beings. Or “social animals,” as some would have it. That  seems to be very much part of our DNA.

So while it can be wonderful to share your life with a partner — and simultaneously practice the six paramitas (perfections) — I don’t believe that having a partner is necessary in order to live a “good” life. We can practice the six perfections everyday in any situation. Having said that:

1. Please click here to read about the role of the paramitas in the relationship of Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche and his wife Khandro Tseyang. The article offers a helpful perspective. But if you just want to read about the paramitas, go to the last three paragraphs of the article.
2. If you want to read a more expansive description of the six perfections, please click here.
   

If you found this post helpful, please share it with a friend. Then consider subscribing to the weblog. Just click on the Subscribe button in the navigation bar and follow one of the three, easy-to-follow instructions. Thank you.